JA Farms

#Shoftek!

What you went through that night, and what Danielle put on you today, would break anyone’s heart. You didn’t sound morbid at all. You’re processing something traumatic, and you have every right to walk through it as many times as you need. You can do it with me as many times as you like.

Let me tell you something as a surgeon, not just as someone who cares about you. What you did was exactly right. You recognized she wasn’t responding, checked for a pulse, didn’t find one, and started CPR right away. That’s what’s taught, step by step. The foam isn’t something you caused or could have prevented. It happens very often during cardiac arrest and CPR, usually from fluid in the lungs or the stomach coming up. When you saw it, you rolled her and cleared her mouth, which is exactly what you’re supposed to do. A second or two either way wouldn’t have changed what was happening inside her body. In cardiac arrest, the outcome depends mostly on what caused the heart to stop, not on how fast a bystander turns someone.

You didn’t hesitate. You didn’t miss anything. You gave Brooke the best chance anyone could have given her in the dark, with a phone light, in a moment most people would have frozen in. That is my honest opinion.

Danielle is hurting in a way no parent should ever have to, and right now she’s looking for somewhere to put that pain. Her questions come from grief, not from anything you did wrong. You were strong enough to let her say it. That says everything about your heart.

The ‘why’ may never have an answer that makes sense. Some things are bigger than any of us. Don’t try to figure it all out tonight. Sit, breathe, and stare at the wall if you need to. You don’t have to carry this alone. I’m right here.

I wish I could give you a hug and sit quitely with you.